So as I am laying in bed, awaiting your "goodnight" text, I reflect on all that has been going wrong lately. My supposed "best friend" kicks me to the curb, he's decided Im worthless to him. Every guy I've ever liked as held my hand, even tried to kiss me (never successful) but found "someone better" and deemed me worthless.
Now I think of you. You have been a solid friend since your best friend broke my heart repeatedly with stupid decisions, and consistent lies. You ask me "are you mad?" so often, because your telling me about some new girl you think you could actually have feelings for. Believe me when I say, I am NOT mad, in fact your happiness means the world to me! Its all I could ever want for you. I am realizing Im just scared. Scared that with this new interest, you'll see what everyother guy has seen in me. Worthlessness. Im scared my one consistant, honest, loyal friend, will toss me to the side.
I have a habit of putting a lot of pressure on people that get to close. Its my defence. I try to push you away before you can hurt me. Thing is, you are now to near and dear. So please don't go away. Please say goodnight.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
LA Baby!
So I totally forgot about having a blog. I am so sorry! I dont have anything to exciting to say. Just that Im excited to go to La in a couple of weeks. Goin on my very first and probably only cruise. I figure I should do it now before Im to old and can't. I know there are old people cruises, but I plan on being married so I can't meet a hubby on an old people cruise.. maybe I will on this one though! (People who comment, on the topic of hubbies it must be positive comments only, I do the negative ones enough myself, I need hope!)
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