So as I am laying in bed, awaiting your "goodnight" text, I reflect on all that has been going wrong lately. My supposed "best friend" kicks me to the curb, he's decided Im worthless to him. Every guy I've ever liked as held my hand, even tried to kiss me (never successful) but found "someone better" and deemed me worthless.
Now I think of you. You have been a solid friend since your best friend broke my heart repeatedly with stupid decisions, and consistent lies. You ask me "are you mad?" so often, because your telling me about some new girl you think you could actually have feelings for. Believe me when I say, I am NOT mad, in fact your happiness means the world to me! Its all I could ever want for you. I am realizing Im just scared. Scared that with this new interest, you'll see what everyother guy has seen in me. Worthlessness. Im scared my one consistant, honest, loyal friend, will toss me to the side.
I have a habit of putting a lot of pressure on people that get to close. Its my defence. I try to push you away before you can hurt me. Thing is, you are now to near and dear. So please don't go away. Please say goodnight.
You're into hair, right? God knows how many hairs are on your head. Have you ever tried to count hairs? Not an easy feat. So please just remember that you're so far from worthless. God knitted you together personally, and made you exactly the way He wanted you. A boy can hold anybody's hand, but what you have to say is something they can't get anywhere else. <3
ReplyDeleteJessmo, you are one to outright say what it is that you stand for, with that said, I know you don't stand for weakness, you don't stand for belittling yourself, and you don't stand for men (I may as well call them boys because that's what most of the ones you've sought for are), so yes, you don't stand for little boys dictating the way that you treat and feel about yourself. You know that's rubbish, I know that rubbish, and any self-respecting woman will tell you the same. Please don't put yourself in the same heap as 99% of girls who have let the way a guy treats them run their life. You're better than that, so no funny business.
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