First of all I'd just like to apologize to my fans for the lack of blogging this past week. I'm going to try to get back in it.
So who remembers the days of the "wuzzap?" Goodness, it was in everything from Superbowl commercials to lame comedy flicks. Just plain ridiculous. It annoyed me then and it annoys me now! However I thought of this while listening to my music. How it happened was this:
I for some reason always think of a title, then write from there. Well I couldn't think of anything, as my brain is still stuck on my hurt from the dear old friend. I don't at all want to keep talking about this topic, I just want it to pass. So I turned on the tunes, hoping that I could hear one I wanted to listen to and would inspire some topic. Well I heard a lot of Ciara, and Brittney Spears.. but nothing at all thought provoking.. then, FINALLY, I got to Coldplay. The Scientist, Clocks, and Yellow, and this made me look back on my collage days, which reminded me of high school.. which reminded me of WUUUUUZZZZAAAAPPPPPPPP! Ugh
Weird thing is, I actually wrote notes to friends, and that was first thing said! And I thought it was so annoying! SO WHY DID I USE IT?! Im so silly sometimes. Oh high school. What a crazy time. I was dancing 5 nights a week, driving to and from school, getting paid to drive 2 friends, to and from school.. I didnt have a job, and life was good. Well except that whole hating the world and myself bit. I guess over all Im in a better place now... with faith, an income, friends, travelling, a voice!
This is a very unthought out post, and I am sorry for that. Which life do you prefer? High school years, or your University years.... or if your just working or past that stagewhere does your preference lay?
Monday, January 26, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Times up!
Well as some of you noticed, I posted to a specific person, hoping they'd realize that they don't actually hate me, and I'm not the terrible person they thought I was.. well I gave them about a week to respond via facebook.. which they either decided they didn't want to do, or they STILL haven't been online since I sent it.. Well, Im done waiting. I sent one last message saying they could still call or text if it turns out they just got it late, but other then that, I have deleted them from my facebook friends. Im not sure I can delete the pics of us, cuz as Ive said, I still love the person dearly, and don't regret any time shared... But I'm not going to try annoying them to the point of them lothing me. Removing them from my friends list lessens my chances of doing so. Love you, peace!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Tired
Well its been a few days, so I thought I'd say a few words. I am tired, its 2:50am, I am supposed to be up at 9am so I can be at church for 9:30am.. and Im awake. What is wrong with this picture? Ugh, no more lattes at midnight, ok?
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Just shut up!
I have this habit of talking, when I shouldn't. Like right now, I'm really upset about a friend who kicked me to the curb... and so I get all grey inside and start thinking everyone hates me.. I find ways of twisting my own words to make them sound like I said something so mean that a person couldn't possibly love me. Like the other day I made a joke that I like to argue and my friend likes pretty girls.. well I didn't mean it to be offensive, there is nothing wrong with liking pretty girls.. yet this person has hardly said a word to me, and I keep trying to talk to them... so do you hate me? Did what I said somehow hit a nerve? Do you think because I said it, it means I hate this girl I never met? Cuz I don't, why do my firends think I don't want the best for them? How did I become such a terrible person? I think I was better off in my high school days when I didn't talk to anyone. At least that way, I couldn't hurt anyone, cuz no one could get close enough for me to know how to low blow... Im just gonna shut up.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Missions; If You Choose To Accept It
As many of my friends know, I believe in God. I don't think there is really any surprise there. If there is, SURPRISE! I'm a Christian! But that would make me sad if people couldn't tell. I strive to prove not all Christian are stuck up snots, like they tend to be. I don't like being put in that box... But this isn't the direction I'm going for, at least not today.
Christians, in my humble opinion, are called to missions. However, some believers are scared of this word, and some just down right hate it! Its been given a very negative light. People seem to think that a Mission has to be all impossible.. Like Tom Cruz, but simply meeting people and sharing yourself with them. Its not a forceful event, where you tell someone, either believe or meet your doom! Its just giving someone the opportunity to meet God if they so choose, when they may not have known there was a choice.
Missions can be local or global. I feel called to travel the word and sharing my faith, others are called right here in this very city to share in Bubs, Bars, street corners, youth groups, etc. Doesn't make you less of a missionary or more of one depending on were your called. But realize this... you are called. Missions IS the great commission.
Christians, in my humble opinion, are called to missions. However, some believers are scared of this word, and some just down right hate it! Its been given a very negative light. People seem to think that a Mission has to be all impossible.. Like Tom Cruz, but simply meeting people and sharing yourself with them. Its not a forceful event, where you tell someone, either believe or meet your doom! Its just giving someone the opportunity to meet God if they so choose, when they may not have known there was a choice.
Missions can be local or global. I feel called to travel the word and sharing my faith, others are called right here in this very city to share in Bubs, Bars, street corners, youth groups, etc. Doesn't make you less of a missionary or more of one depending on were your called. But realize this... you are called. Missions IS the great commission.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Have You Ever Loved Someone So Much it Made You Cry?
A line from a popular Brandy hit called, Have You Ever?
The reason for the emo, is a whom I thought was a near and dear friend, informed me that Ive been ignored and shunned because they do not see me as near nor dear... for a few heart breaking reasons. For the sake of the person I will not go into to much detail, because despite what they said, I did and still do care dearly and deeply for them.
I will share one, the one that was a blatant attack on my character. As a youth leader, I do my best to be a positive influence on my youth, and I'd like to think Im a pretty consistant person. I Don't try to be one person at youth, and another at home, or with my friends. As a friend, I know I'm not perfect, but I am the kind of friend who leaves her cell phone on all night, just incase your stranded and need a ride, or something happened to someone dear to youand u need an ear, or you just plan well need to hug it out. I'd like to think Im the kind of person my friends open up to, not out of obligation or whim, but out of trust. Am I really not any of these things? Was I just fooling myself?
All I've ever done was try to support you in the way you needed. But you were never really all that clear in what that was. I was often told contradictory tales, but I did the best I could. I've always loved you, from the bottom of my heart. At one point, you were my nearest and dearest. You know who, knew it too.. But I guess you never really trusted me, I guess you never fully excepted my friendship... just a grain in the sand of time. I will never live up to the mirage you made me into, I wouldn't even know where to start. So here's to hoping you realize that all I wanted for you was happiness. I never ment to make you think you had to be one way, and label you as such.
I am truely sorry that I hurt you.
The reason for the emo, is a whom I thought was a near and dear friend, informed me that Ive been ignored and shunned because they do not see me as near nor dear... for a few heart breaking reasons. For the sake of the person I will not go into to much detail, because despite what they said, I did and still do care dearly and deeply for them.
I will share one, the one that was a blatant attack on my character. As a youth leader, I do my best to be a positive influence on my youth, and I'd like to think Im a pretty consistant person. I Don't try to be one person at youth, and another at home, or with my friends. As a friend, I know I'm not perfect, but I am the kind of friend who leaves her cell phone on all night, just incase your stranded and need a ride, or something happened to someone dear to youand u need an ear, or you just plan well need to hug it out. I'd like to think Im the kind of person my friends open up to, not out of obligation or whim, but out of trust. Am I really not any of these things? Was I just fooling myself?
All I've ever done was try to support you in the way you needed. But you were never really all that clear in what that was. I was often told contradictory tales, but I did the best I could. I've always loved you, from the bottom of my heart. At one point, you were my nearest and dearest. You know who, knew it too.. But I guess you never really trusted me, I guess you never fully excepted my friendship... just a grain in the sand of time. I will never live up to the mirage you made me into, I wouldn't even know where to start. So here's to hoping you realize that all I wanted for you was happiness. I never ment to make you think you had to be one way, and label you as such.
I am truely sorry that I hurt you.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Comments Please!
If you want me to keep blogging, Im gonna need some moral support. I need to see comments on my blogs, or I get bored, therefore my blogs get more boring.. until they end completely.. and life as we know it comes to a halt.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Time Management
Im realizing that I suck at managing my time. There are 24hrs is a day, I spent 6 of them sleeping, 8.5hrs working, .25hrs driving home, .75 eating a grapefruit and checking emails. Next, Im going to youth for a few hours, getting home and showering.. then hopefully getting into bed by 10... Can I make it?
It definitely sounds easy enough. But things/people hinder my chances. Im a "night owl" for a reason. Besides the fact that it makes me awake for the day, all sleep does is shortens my day. I love to talk to my friends, and blog and play games.. but when you have to be up at 7 in the morning, these things need to be prioritized, and although Id LOVE to say that my friends take #1, I'm beginning to notice my quality of life is dropping. I have no energy once I get to work. So my dear friends, although I used to stay up just to be able to see you, I can't, CAN'T stay up passed 11pm on a weekday (excluding fridays, including Sundays) any longer!
It definitely sounds easy enough. But things/people hinder my chances. Im a "night owl" for a reason. Besides the fact that it makes me awake for the day, all sleep does is shortens my day. I love to talk to my friends, and blog and play games.. but when you have to be up at 7 in the morning, these things need to be prioritized, and although Id LOVE to say that my friends take #1, I'm beginning to notice my quality of life is dropping. I have no energy once I get to work. So my dear friends, although I used to stay up just to be able to see you, I can't, CAN'T stay up passed 11pm on a weekday (excluding fridays, including Sundays) any longer!
Monday, January 5, 2009
New Alarms
Oh heavens!
Let me tell you a story about a girl who is a mighty sound sleeper. She has gotten used to her old "Over It" ring tone alarm on the navy Samsung cell phone, but alas, she decided to upgrade. To an HTC Diamond Touch. The least annoying ring tone she can find for her alarm is the sound of a rooster crowing. But she fears it is not loud enough, so she decides to test her new alarm doc. She sets it for a minute past her phone, just to see if the one will do...
7Am rolls around. Sounds of roosters crowing fill her room, she awakes. "perfect, it works!" then a minute later she hears the rooster still crowing, and now Carrie Underwood singing Before He Cheats. And to her surprise and annoyance its getting louder and louder. She fumbles for her remote to turn off the alarm that sits atop the TV on the other side of the room, but this does not work. The Rooster crows so she fumbles somemore to unblug the phone and starts smashing buttons as she stands to manually turn off dear Carrie Underwood! Finally the room is silent. It is now 7:05am, and time to get ready for work.
The End.
Let me tell you a story about a girl who is a mighty sound sleeper. She has gotten used to her old "Over It" ring tone alarm on the navy Samsung cell phone, but alas, she decided to upgrade. To an HTC Diamond Touch. The least annoying ring tone she can find for her alarm is the sound of a rooster crowing. But she fears it is not loud enough, so she decides to test her new alarm doc. She sets it for a minute past her phone, just to see if the one will do...
7Am rolls around. Sounds of roosters crowing fill her room, she awakes. "perfect, it works!" then a minute later she hears the rooster still crowing, and now Carrie Underwood singing Before He Cheats. And to her surprise and annoyance its getting louder and louder. She fumbles for her remote to turn off the alarm that sits atop the TV on the other side of the room, but this does not work. The Rooster crows so she fumbles somemore to unblug the phone and starts smashing buttons as she stands to manually turn off dear Carrie Underwood! Finally the room is silent. It is now 7:05am, and time to get ready for work.
The End.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Timed out
I came online at 10:30pm thinking, I will blog within this half hour, then bed. However I had no idea what to blog about! So, I ask my dear friend Garrett who decides he can't answer my riddle without reading the couple blogs he was behind on.. so I wait. About ten minutes, then ask again.. no such luck.. another ten.. he tells me to blog about his blog.. the one he doesn't have yet keeps talking about oh so fondly.
Well my dear readers, being that it is now 11:04pm, I will not be blogging about this nonexistent blog, but about nothing. So here it is. Hopefully something exciting will happen tomorrow so I have SOMETHING for you to read!
Well my dear readers, being that it is now 11:04pm, I will not be blogging about this nonexistent blog, but about nothing. So here it is. Hopefully something exciting will happen tomorrow so I have SOMETHING for you to read!
Grapefruit!
Hello!
I dont have a huge rant today, but I don't want to get into the habit of NOT posting.. cuz then it may be years before you see my again.. SO...
Grapefruits! I love then! Recently I convinced my mom to buy me a huge bag at Costco.. and I made a deal. I would eat 2 a day, if she bought me the bag. And with Wayne as her witness, she let me pick a nice batch!
This was just yesterday I think.. and I have eaten, well guess how many! FOUR! No, Im not playing golf. Ive actually eaten 4 grapefruits in 2 days. That is 8 halves.. TASTY!
I dont have a huge rant today, but I don't want to get into the habit of NOT posting.. cuz then it may be years before you see my again.. SO...
Grapefruits! I love then! Recently I convinced my mom to buy me a huge bag at Costco.. and I made a deal. I would eat 2 a day, if she bought me the bag. And with Wayne as her witness, she let me pick a nice batch!
This was just yesterday I think.. and I have eaten, well guess how many! FOUR! No, Im not playing golf. Ive actually eaten 4 grapefruits in 2 days. That is 8 halves.. TASTY!
Friday, January 2, 2009
If u like me stop makin me guess!
Ok Boys, here is part 2, to my last blog. But girls, if your into the whole feministic view that girls should ask the boys, then you can learn from this too.
So here is the deal. I'm a firm "old school" believer in being pursued. I would love for a guy to tell me his intentions. None of this, I'm gonna sit next to you in a movie and hold your hand, business.
I'm a very nice person who doesn't like to make people feel like jerks, or look like them in public, but you can't just hold my hand! So all those times I've sat and watched a movie and have said nothing, was because I didn't want to make you feel bad in front of our friends.
Now I have noticed in myself, so I don't blame this intirely on the male population, that I cuddle way to much. I love to do it, and maybe Im sending out mixed signals? This is why usually I try to keep it to the people I know the best. Who know me, and know this about me. I do ask that you call me out, if you think I am sending you mixed signals, as I am going to have to try and call you out for doing the same. Which by the way I hate doing aswell. So know that it is a two way street.
About this flirting. Apparently, I have been told, I do not flirt. I always thought I was to flirty and have tried despritely not to be.. maybe this is why I'm "not" as of now.. Im not sure where I was going with this.. i guess I just want opinions..
Back to my rant.. if you are going to pursue me, I think it should be made known to me. For the main reason, I don't want to lead you on if Im not interested.. and if I am interested I dont wanna be sitting in the dark thinkin does he or doesn't he? why doesn't he say something if he is? because as I said, Im old school, and will never step into the 21st century and ask out a boy, becasue I dont believe that's how it should be done. Marriages lasted back in the day when the guys pursued the girls! Again, just my opinion.
I guess thats all I have to say. again, I love to hear the opinion of the people. So let me know if you agree.. or dispute my logic.. I dont know...
So here is the deal. I'm a firm "old school" believer in being pursued. I would love for a guy to tell me his intentions. None of this, I'm gonna sit next to you in a movie and hold your hand, business.
I'm a very nice person who doesn't like to make people feel like jerks, or look like them in public, but you can't just hold my hand! So all those times I've sat and watched a movie and have said nothing, was because I didn't want to make you feel bad in front of our friends.
Now I have noticed in myself, so I don't blame this intirely on the male population, that I cuddle way to much. I love to do it, and maybe Im sending out mixed signals? This is why usually I try to keep it to the people I know the best. Who know me, and know this about me. I do ask that you call me out, if you think I am sending you mixed signals, as I am going to have to try and call you out for doing the same. Which by the way I hate doing aswell. So know that it is a two way street.
About this flirting. Apparently, I have been told, I do not flirt. I always thought I was to flirty and have tried despritely not to be.. maybe this is why I'm "not" as of now.. Im not sure where I was going with this.. i guess I just want opinions..
Back to my rant.. if you are going to pursue me, I think it should be made known to me. For the main reason, I don't want to lead you on if Im not interested.. and if I am interested I dont wanna be sitting in the dark thinkin does he or doesn't he? why doesn't he say something if he is? because as I said, Im old school, and will never step into the 21st century and ask out a boy, becasue I dont believe that's how it should be done. Marriages lasted back in the day when the guys pursued the girls! Again, just my opinion.
I guess thats all I have to say. again, I love to hear the opinion of the people. So let me know if you agree.. or dispute my logic.. I dont know...
Excuses Excuses!
Hum, how to start this one... Have you ever felt like you just cant win? Like you want to be in a relationship, but the one you want doesn't see you that way. Or a really great guy may even like you, but he's just not the one due to age, or religion, etc.?
It's so hard to tell someone you're not interested, it's even harder to tell a friend. So many people try to be "nice" and make up excuses like "I'm not looking to date right now" or they may make tentative plans, but never follow through. I hate hurting peoples feelings! Why tall a lie or fib that in the end will sting more when they realize it, then tell the truth and have it burn for a bit, but in the end you gain there respect for being honest.
Im not gonna pretend Ive never wanted to lie, thinkin it would be easier, but I try not to do the things that I hate people doin to me. Why not give the same respect you expect from others to them! Just makes sense.
It's so hard to tell someone you're not interested, it's even harder to tell a friend. So many people try to be "nice" and make up excuses like "I'm not looking to date right now" or they may make tentative plans, but never follow through. I hate hurting peoples feelings! Why tall a lie or fib that in the end will sting more when they realize it, then tell the truth and have it burn for a bit, but in the end you gain there respect for being honest.
Im not gonna pretend Ive never wanted to lie, thinkin it would be easier, but I try not to do the things that I hate people doin to me. Why not give the same respect you expect from others to them! Just makes sense.
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